but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Green mimosas i think yes
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
