All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
