Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
