I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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