'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
