im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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