I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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