So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I want you more than these girls want KFC
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
