i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize