im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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