Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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