i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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