your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My bed is full of blood and feathers
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize