I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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