hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
