I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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