FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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