I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
