A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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