Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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