Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
What a dumb baby whore.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
