why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
