What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
