can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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