She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Randomize
