he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
