lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
