Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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