Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize