Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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