I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
