No stitches, just platelets and will power
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
