when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
