At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Where is the hickey?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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