How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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