she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
