The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Hippo gnu deer
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This toilet bowl is my home.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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