how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
