my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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