hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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