Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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