He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
