meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
