I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
