I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
