You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
