Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
