We're like a lot better than the average bears
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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