i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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