Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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