someone get that fucking seahorse.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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