i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
