He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
