Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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