I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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