Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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