I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The struggles of a small town man whore
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
