You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
