Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
