He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
