I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
