In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
