Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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